If Bill Gates Had Been from the South...
And Microsoft Had Been Headquartered There
- Their #1 product would be Microsoft Winders
- Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle
- Occasionally you'd bring up a window that was covered with a Hefty bag or cardboard
- Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-ight" or "Naw"
- Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos
- The "Recycle Bin" in Winders '95 would be an outhouse
- Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!"
- Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders '95 theme song would be Achy-Breaky Heart
- PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt"
- Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul C++"
- Winders 95 logo would incorporate Confederate Flag
- Microsoft Word would be just that: one word
- Instead of WWW servers, Microsoft would have KKK servers
- New Shutdown WAV: "Y'all come back now!"
- Instead of VP, Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz"
- Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am
- Microsoft Office replaced with Micr'sawft Henhouse
- Four words: Daisy Dukes Screen Saver
- Well, the first thing you know, old Bill's a billionaire
- Spreadsheet software would include examples to inventory dead cars in your front yard
- Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor pull Simulator
- Microsoft CEO: Bubba Gates
- Redman plug'n'play interface
- They could still use Ky-row as code name for next upgrade, but Albenny would be the one after that
- Instructions for use would include "mash the control key."
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