Read All About It!


These are supposed to be actual headlines
(gleaned from many sources)

GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT - Tallahassee Bugle

MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS - Anchorage Alaska Times

GOERNOR'S PENIS BUSY - New Haven Connecticut Register
(should be 'pen is')

THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON - Arkansas Plainsman

CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS - Bangor Maine News

STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION - Washington Times

CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL - Bosnia Bugle

LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW - Newsday

ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX - San Antonio Rose

PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE - Chicago Daily News

TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS - Miami Herald

MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING - New Haven Conneticut Register

GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS - Tallahassee Democrat

WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! - Houston Chronicle




More of the same but I don't have the names of the papers they were in.

STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

COLD WAVE LINKED TO LOW TEMPRATURES

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS





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