Read All About It!
These are supposed to be actual headlines
(gleaned from many sources)
GATORS TO FACE SEMINOLES WITH PETERS OUT - Tallahassee Bugle
MESSIAH CLIMAXES IN CHORUS OF HALLELUJAHS - Anchorage Alaska Times
GOERNOR'S PENIS BUSY - New Haven Connecticut Register
(should be 'pen is')
THANKS TO PRESIDENT CLINTON, STAFF SGT. FRUER NOW HAS A SON - Arkansas Plainsman
CLINTON PLACES DICKEY IN GORE'S HANDS - Bangor Maine News
STARR AGHAST AT FIRST LADY SEX POSITION - Washington Times
CLINTON STIFF ON WITHDRAWAL - Bosnia Bugle
LONG ISLAND STIFFENS FOR LILI'S BLOW - Newsday
ORGAN FESTIVAL ENDS IN SMASHING CLIMAX - San Antonio Rose
PETROLEUM JELLY KEEPS IDLE TOOLS RUST-FREE - Chicago Daily News
TEXTRON INC. MAKES OFFER TO SCREW COMPANY STOCKHOLDERS - Miami Herald
MARRIED PRIESTS IN CATHOLIC CHURCH A LONG TIME COMING - New Haven Conneticut Register
GOVERNOR CHILES OFFERS RARE OPPORTUNITY TO GOOSE HUNTERS - Tallahassee Democrat
WOULD SHE CLIMB TO THE TOP OF MR. EVEREST AGAIN? ABSOLUTELY! - Houston Chronicle
More of the same but I don't have the names of the papers they were in.
STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE
LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS
SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS
JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT
COLD WAVE LINKED TO LOW TEMPRATURES
POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS
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