You KNOW It's Going to be a Bad Day When...
- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
- You wake up face down on the pavement.
- You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
- You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
- You see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.
- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
- Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
- You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there aren't any.
- You turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of your city.
- The bird singing outside your window is a buzzard.
- The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your wife.
- You wake up to discover that your water bed broke and then you realize that you don't have a water bed.
- Your horn goes off accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
- You get a rejection notice from the HUMOR Listserver saying that you're no longer funny
- Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a splitting headache.
- Your doctor tells you, "Well, I have bad news and good news..."
- You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads "WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!"
- Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
- Your ex-lover calls and tells you he has 6 days to live, and that you'd better get the Test
- You wake up at work naked in front of your co-workers
- When someone accuses you of faking humor
- Your lover tells you, "I'm sub-letting another apartment and the movers are here to move me."
- You have an appointment in 10 minutes and you just woke up
- You need your chocoholic fix and the government just banned chocolate!
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