A Woman's Random Thoughts
Author Unknown
- Skinny people tick me off! Especially when they say things like,
"You know, sometimes I forget to eat."
You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.
- A friend of mine confused her valium with her birth control pills.
She had 14 kids, but she doesn't care.
- They keep telling us to get in touch with our bodies.
Mine isn't all that communicative but I heard from it the other day after I said, "Body, how'd you like to go to the six o'clock class in vigorous toning?"
Clear as a bell my body said, "listen wench ... do it and die."
- The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing (and then they marry him).
- I read this article that said the typical symptoms of stress are eating too much, smoking too much, impulse buying and driving too fast.
Are they kidding? That's my idea of a perfect day.
- I know what Victoria's Secret is.
The secret is that nobody older than 20 can fit into their stuff.
- If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties?
How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck?
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