Things You'll Never Hear Men (or Women) Say
Author(s) Unknown
However, I've seen most of these individually in several places
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Things you'll never hear a man say
- Here honey, you use the remote.
- You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.
- Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!
- While I'm up, can I get you anything?
- Sex isn't that important; sometimes, I just want to be held.
- Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?
- Aww, forget Monday night football, let's watch Melrose Place.
- Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.
- We never talk anymore.
- Yes, Dogbyte; You may date my daughter!
Things you'll never hear a woman say
- What do you mean "today's our anniversary"?
- Can we not talk to each other tonight? I'd rather just watch TV.
- Ohh, this diamond is way too big!
- And for our honeymoon we're going fishing in Alaska!
- Can our relationship get a little more physical? I'm tired of being "just friends".
- Honey does this outfit make my butt look too small?
- Aww, don't stop for directions, I'm sure you'll be able to figure out how to get there.
- Is that phone for me? Tell 'em I'm not here.
- I don't care if it is on sale, 300 dollars is too much for a designer dress.
- Hey, pull my finger!
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