It's a Blonde Thing!



(Note: Please don't submit any blonde jokes...
we've got hundreds already that we don't plan to use here.

These are presented as representative examples...see
"The Revenge of the Blondes" for "The other side")



Q: How does a blond kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Q: What is the blonde doing when she holds her hands tightly over her ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for two hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

Q: What's the difference between Elvis and smart blondes?
A: Elvis has been sighted.

Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.

Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: She kept throwing out all the "W"s

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock.

Q: How can you tell when a fax had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.

Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde?
A: The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
   The nympho says "Are you done already?"
   The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."

Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.

Q: Why do Blondes take the pill?
A: So they know what day of the week it is.

Q: What do you call a smart blond?
A: A golden retriever.


Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger: Blonde #1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked! Blonde #2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!
A blonde was driving down the highway to Disneyland when she saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, she said to herself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home.
A brunette and a blonde are walking along in a park. The brunette says suddenly, "Awww, look at the dead birdie". The blonde stops, looks up, and says, "Where?"
Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911: Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb. Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb? Blonde: Yes. Operator: The power in the house is on? Blonde: Of course. Operator: And the switch is on? Blonde: Yes, yes. Operator: And the bulb still won't light up? Blonde: No, it's working fine. Operator: Then what's the problem? Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around and we all fell and hurt ourselves.


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