You Could be from Alabama If:
- You've never met any celebrities.
- Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
- "Vacation" means going to the family reunion.
- You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
- You measure distance in minutes.
- You know several people who have hit a deer.
- Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
- Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
- You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
- You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
- You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
- You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
- Stores don't have bags; they have sacks or totes.
- You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
- You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it.
- You use fix as a verb. Example: I am fixing to go to the store.
- All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
- You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
- You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-o salad with marshmallows.
- You carry jumper cables in your car.
- You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
- You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
- You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
- You think that deer season is a national holiday.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- You find 90 degrees F "a little warm."
- You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas.
- You know if another Alabamian is from southern, middle or northern Alabama as soon as they open their mouth.
- There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
- You've ever skipped work to watch a football game.
- Food is best when fried. (okra, tomatoes, chicken)
- You actually get these jokes and tell them to all your friends from Alabama.
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