In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label
instructions on consumer goods.

  On a Sear's hairdryer:
  Do not use while sleeping.
  (and that's the only time I have to work on my hair!!)

  On a bag of Fritos:
  ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
  Details in side. (the shoplifter special?)

  On a bar of Dial soap:
  "Directions: Use like regular soap."
  (and that would be how???)

  On some Swanson frozen dinners:
  "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
  (but, it's "just" a suggestion)

  On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
  "Do not turn upside down."
  (well...duh, a bit late, huh?)

  On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
  "Product will be hot after heating."
  (...and you thought?)

  On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
  "Do not iron clothes on body."
  (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

  On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:
  "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after
  taking this medication."
  (reduce construction accidents - get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts)

  On Nytol Sleep Aid:
  "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
  (and I'm taking this because?)

  On most brands of Christmas lights:
  "For indoor or outdoor use only."
  (as opposed to...what)?

  On a Japanese food processor:
  "Not to be used for the other use."
  (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

  On Sunsbury's peanuts:
  "Warning: contains nuts."
  (talk about a news flash)

  On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
  "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
  (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

  On a child's superman costume:
  "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
  (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

  On a Swedish chainsaw:
  "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
  (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)