Most Embarrassing Moments Contest in the "New Woman Magazine"
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now", she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were screams of laughter.
-- Amy Richardson; Stafford,Virginia
It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but
my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over
for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we
heard the telephone ring downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that
I give her a piggyback ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss
the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom
of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people
yelled, "SURPRISE !!!"
My entire family, aunts, uncles, Grandparents, cousins and all my
friends were standing there. My girlfriend and I were frozen in a state
of shock and embarrassment for what seemed like an eternity. Since
then, no one in my family has planned a surprise party again...
-- Tim Cahill; Poughkeepsie, New York
A lady who picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally
got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price
tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and
boomed out for all the store to hear, "PRICE CHECK ON LANE
THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody
at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for
"THUMBTACKS."
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom. "DO YOU
WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN
WITH A HAMMER???"
A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was
squirming around, scratching his crotch and not paying attention. She
went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and
whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite
itchy. The teacher told him go down to the principal's office, he was
to phone his mother, and ask her what he should do about it. He did it
and he returned to the classroom, where he sat down in his seat.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back
to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis
hanging out. I thought I told you to call your Mom." she screamed. "I
did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon,
she'd come and pick me up from school".
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