You Could be Drinking Too Much Coffee If...
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You haven't blinked in a week.
- You sleep with your eyes open.
- You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
- You're so jittery that other people ask you to blend their slimfast shakes.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat; you perculate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You go to AA meetings for the free coffee.
- You walk 20 miles on your treadmill before you notice it's not plugged in.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- You channel surf faster without a remote.
- When someone says, "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- You'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison just for the coffee.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- You help your dog chase it's tail.
- You introduce your spouse as your "coffee mate."
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
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